Reflecting over the past few days, "little things" had been making me extremely angry. Being that I am usually of a calm temperament, this emotion has brought me to scratch my head in wonderment.
It was as if 'something' was simmering on the stove of my heart. These "little" events or aggravations turned up the heat and caused what was already cooking to boil over, making a mess of my emotions. As I restrained myself from analyzing (my comfort blanket) but did some soul searching, I was able to find the ingredients simmering beneath the surface.
What I found was a potentially toxic remedy I had allowed to be concocted. If you have ever seen baking soda and vinegar mixed together, the reaction of my ingredients was much like that. I had allowed the bitter and the sour to be stirred together.
What happened? You may ask. One particular 'incident' was when my eldest child hid another child's new toy. I let THAT act make me so angry. It took much of the afternoon to get cooled off. My heart said, why is this such a big deal. My mind said, how dare he!
With painful humility, I began to see crystal clear the recipe that was boiling over. I had allowed myself to have unrealistic, perfectionist expectations of how my children would behave while I was out of town with them. I also let myself hold the hammer of condemnation, believing every infraction from my child was a a reflection of my failure as a parent. When frustration and anger were mixed with perfectionism and expectations, a yuck of emotions boiled over. Although quiet in reaction, my anger was seen in my eyes and my child was crushed at my disappointment. Although putting this in writing is embarrassing, it also helps me to see the picture of what NOT to allow to cook on the stove of my heart again. Maybe others can learn and be encouraged by my experience. Being a mom is tough! Those around us, society, and we provide a list of demands, creating further pressure.
What did God ask us to do with our little (or not so little) ones? He asked us to love them and let them sit on His lap and love Him. To train and instruct, without crushing. God has given each of us grace. The Word says that condemnation is not of God. He is a God of grace. It is time we extend that same grace to ourselves (in our parenting, friendships, actions - or lack of), and to pour out that same grace on our children. For me, I will pour my simmering pot of sour ingredients down the drain. I will seek to measure behaviors according to their appropriate height (no longer making so very much a mountain of offense). And daily, I will seek to walk in grace not perfectionism.
Maybe it was too much sugar over the holidays. I could blame my pattern and reaction on lots of things. Regardless, it is time to make a change.
"So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of his grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus. God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God." (Eph. 2:7-8 NLT)
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Mirror Image
Recently, an evangelist was speaking on vision and talked about the passage of Genesis 30. It seems so many are talking and writing on vision. What a great topic to stir us to move forward!
In Genesis 30, Laban tried to trick Jacob out of his inheritance. Laban told Jacob he could have all the spotted or streaked animals, but then Laban hid those animals with his sons to keep them from Jacob. In return, Jacob gave the animals left in his care an image to focus on in order to change the situation.
It is time we see it, the right reed in the water. It is the truth of who we really are, as His creation. When we see ourselves in that light, we actually become like the image we see. Even more, I am going to practice declaring beauty when I look in the mirror. Instead of calling myself "quirky" at my childlike behavior and antics, I will declare I am "fun" and let the joy of the Lord bubble out of me, infecting the atmosphere around me. He did make me, He sings and dances over me (Zeph. 3:17), and He desires for our words and thoughts to line up with the TRUTH of who we are!
In Genesis 30, Laban tried to trick Jacob out of his inheritance. Laban told Jacob he could have all the spotted or streaked animals, but then Laban hid those animals with his sons to keep them from Jacob. In return, Jacob gave the animals left in his care an image to focus on in order to change the situation.
Then Jacob took some fresh branches from poplar, almond, and plane trees
and peeled off strips of bark, making white streaks on them. Then he placed
these peeled branches in the watering troughs where the flocks came to drink,
for that was where they mated. And when they mated in front of the white-streaked
branches, they gave birth to young that were streaked, speckled, and spotted.
(Gen. 30: 37-39 NLT)
Looking into a reflection has never been my favorite past time. I am not quite sure why. Maybe it was peers teasing about me being plain when I was a kid or possibly constantly comparing myself with my three beautiful sisters. Nevertheless, for years I have been learning to see someone beautiful look back at me in the mirror. I have had to teach my children the same about their person, to love the creation they are SIMPLY because GOD MADE them. It has forced me to giddy-up on this topic for my own person.
This week, I keep thinking about what life would be like and the peace that would follow us if we were looking at the right reed in our mirrors. God has written and declared throughout His Word about the creation that we are. David declared,
"Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it."
(Ps. 139:14 NLT)
It is time we see it, the right reed in the water. It is the truth of who we really are, as His creation. When we see ourselves in that light, we actually become like the image we see. Even more, I am going to practice declaring beauty when I look in the mirror. Instead of calling myself "quirky" at my childlike behavior and antics, I will declare I am "fun" and let the joy of the Lord bubble out of me, infecting the atmosphere around me. He did make me, He sings and dances over me (Zeph. 3:17), and He desires for our words and thoughts to line up with the TRUTH of who we are!
What will you declare today? Name one thing you will practice this week to change the reed that you see?
Saturday, December 1, 2012
The Wrong Cat
(Disclaimer: Although not graphic, the following blog may be disturbing to animal lovers)
A few years ago, a black and white stray cat had five kittens in our hydrangea bush. After fostering her and the litter for Animal Rescue Foundation, we kept two of the kittens (one tabby gray, one fully black). Both have always been very docile and loving. They were made to live outside due to their potty habits indoors, but they were fixed and have been pampered greatly by the six of us throughout their lifetime. The children would even make them beds next to theirs or carry them in their purses when they were kittens. The cats became comfortable being carted around in cotton pillow cases and would relax and fall asleep on jousled walks with the kids. I tell you all of this to let you know they were a treasured part of our family.
Driving my children to school on Friday, I saw a fully black cat lying on the shoulder of our road, a few mailboxes down from ours. I was saddenned, and I knew I would have to investigate later. After returning home, I was not able to locate our "Sammy" and decided to go have a look-see. Convinced it must be him (even having the few white hairs on his shoulders), I became very upset and I was moved to tears. I was mad at his stupidity and sad at the loss all at once. I found myself actually shaking at the events (some not mentioned for the sake of grace).
When I returned from the road, Sammy was waiting for me in the driveway. I hugged and loved on him, and he behaved as if my level of affection gave him alarm. Although the cat from the road LOOKED like mine, it was the wrong cat (later I found the real 'owner' that had been feeding the stray).
The thought went off in me light dynamite ignited: how quickly our emotions are affected by our thinking! I had allowed myself to be physically affected by the thought of loss, but it was actually a false loss. With further caution to those sensitive to animals, I must tell you that I had already loaded the cat from the road into a container in my car. Being family, I was going to bury him on my property. Realizing it was not mine, I could not figure out what to do with it. The elderly "owner" did not want to strain to dig a hole, and I was not willing to dump him on the side of the road. Until I decided to do the neighborly thing to dig and provide a resting place, I literally rode around with him in a container in my car. This may sound a bit far-fetched, but I was in limbo. I had taken ownership of something that was not mine. However, I was learning a lesson. How often do we drive around with dead and false thinking riding in our minds and hearts? Surrender is far more simple, but it can sometimes seem more uncomfortable to unload the cargo than it is to just keep driving.
We cannot allow our false thinking to continue. God did not intend for us to ride in limbo day by day or proceed on in the same dead or incorrect thought patterns. It is time to find the truth for our lives, for every situation. What is the worst case scenario? It is that God will take care of us and teach us through every pleasant or unpleasant situation, if we will surrender and allow Him to be the Lord of our lives. Heaven is waiting on our Nestea plunge of surrender, allowing all the thoughts to be loosed from us and trampled on by the Heavenly hosts. Today is a day to push out the untrue. Delight in the truth of His love, your value, and His hand of provision.
"Bring every thought captive..."
What thoughts will you bring captive today? What truth is your exchange?
A few years ago, a black and white stray cat had five kittens in our hydrangea bush. After fostering her and the litter for Animal Rescue Foundation, we kept two of the kittens (one tabby gray, one fully black). Both have always been very docile and loving. They were made to live outside due to their potty habits indoors, but they were fixed and have been pampered greatly by the six of us throughout their lifetime. The children would even make them beds next to theirs or carry them in their purses when they were kittens. The cats became comfortable being carted around in cotton pillow cases and would relax and fall asleep on jousled walks with the kids. I tell you all of this to let you know they were a treasured part of our family.
Driving my children to school on Friday, I saw a fully black cat lying on the shoulder of our road, a few mailboxes down from ours. I was saddenned, and I knew I would have to investigate later. After returning home, I was not able to locate our "Sammy" and decided to go have a look-see. Convinced it must be him (even having the few white hairs on his shoulders), I became very upset and I was moved to tears. I was mad at his stupidity and sad at the loss all at once. I found myself actually shaking at the events (some not mentioned for the sake of grace).
When I returned from the road, Sammy was waiting for me in the driveway. I hugged and loved on him, and he behaved as if my level of affection gave him alarm. Although the cat from the road LOOKED like mine, it was the wrong cat (later I found the real 'owner' that had been feeding the stray).
The thought went off in me light dynamite ignited: how quickly our emotions are affected by our thinking! I had allowed myself to be physically affected by the thought of loss, but it was actually a false loss. With further caution to those sensitive to animals, I must tell you that I had already loaded the cat from the road into a container in my car. Being family, I was going to bury him on my property. Realizing it was not mine, I could not figure out what to do with it. The elderly "owner" did not want to strain to dig a hole, and I was not willing to dump him on the side of the road. Until I decided to do the neighborly thing to dig and provide a resting place, I literally rode around with him in a container in my car. This may sound a bit far-fetched, but I was in limbo. I had taken ownership of something that was not mine. However, I was learning a lesson. How often do we drive around with dead and false thinking riding in our minds and hearts? Surrender is far more simple, but it can sometimes seem more uncomfortable to unload the cargo than it is to just keep driving.
We cannot allow our false thinking to continue. God did not intend for us to ride in limbo day by day or proceed on in the same dead or incorrect thought patterns. It is time to find the truth for our lives, for every situation. What is the worst case scenario? It is that God will take care of us and teach us through every pleasant or unpleasant situation, if we will surrender and allow Him to be the Lord of our lives. Heaven is waiting on our Nestea plunge of surrender, allowing all the thoughts to be loosed from us and trampled on by the Heavenly hosts. Today is a day to push out the untrue. Delight in the truth of His love, your value, and His hand of provision.
"Bring every thought captive..."
What thoughts will you bring captive today? What truth is your exchange?
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