Standing in backyard
All around the ground fluttered
Yellow butterflies
Monday, October 31, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Within Inches
"Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore." (Psalm 16:11 KJV)
I came within inches of sabotaging the back end of my van. What stopped me? Well, the little voice telling me to put on the brakes. I was backing up and not looking fully behind me. Three times I was told to watch: when I put the car in reverse, as I backed up, and then again as I proceeded backwards. I decided to listen at last, just in case. I tapped on the brakes, and looked around for the electric pole. I had to look for a little while, for it was directly in my blind spot and literally less than 2 inches from my back bumper!
He wants to speak to us in the day to day. What if I had not listened to the paternal guiding and checked for the obstacle? There would have been unpleasant results. He loves me enough to speak. Will I listen or let my own determination of what is right be my guide?
It is a dangerous task to back up or dig in. We cannot see as well where we are going and there are obstacles behind us. When we are in reverse, we move more by a sense of what we remember is there or familiar. It is time to listen, stop, and put it in drive toward the prize.
In the words of Paul, "I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back." (Phillipians 3:12-14 MSG)
"See to it that you do not refuse him who speaks. If they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, how much less will we, if we turn away from him who warns us from heaven? At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” Hebrews 12:26 NIV
He loves us! He speaks. He loves us enough to speak!!
I came within inches of sabotaging the back end of my van. What stopped me? Well, the little voice telling me to put on the brakes. I was backing up and not looking fully behind me. Three times I was told to watch: when I put the car in reverse, as I backed up, and then again as I proceeded backwards. I decided to listen at last, just in case. I tapped on the brakes, and looked around for the electric pole. I had to look for a little while, for it was directly in my blind spot and literally less than 2 inches from my back bumper!
He wants to speak to us in the day to day. What if I had not listened to the paternal guiding and checked for the obstacle? There would have been unpleasant results. He loves me enough to speak. Will I listen or let my own determination of what is right be my guide?
It is a dangerous task to back up or dig in. We cannot see as well where we are going and there are obstacles behind us. When we are in reverse, we move more by a sense of what we remember is there or familiar. It is time to listen, stop, and put it in drive toward the prize.
In the words of Paul, "I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back." (Phillipians 3:12-14 MSG)
"See to it that you do not refuse him who speaks. If they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, how much less will we, if we turn away from him who warns us from heaven? At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” Hebrews 12:26 NIV
He loves us! He speaks. He loves us enough to speak!!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
The Day I Played Quarterback
Today is NFL Sunday. I was enjoying the game, but was very tired from the full weekend. My four hour nap on Saturday does not count - one hour per child born is certainly excusable on rare occasions.
As I lay down on the couch to participate in the game this afternoon, I closed my eyes for just a moment. I almost let the cheers and whistles lull me to sleep and then I began daydreaming. I was remembering a day I played quarterback.
Since I had kinda been the boy of the family, my dad taught me to throw a football, among many other things usually reserved for boys. You see, I had been named John in the womb. My heartbeat, the doctor said, had to be male. Surprise! I was a girl...later a ballerina, in fact. But I loved the moments with my dad. He taught me to corral cows, maneuver a truck, drive a golf ball, and throw a football... all before I was ten. I still prefer to work outdoors over housework any day. I would much prefer to trim the bushes than vacuum the house. And I still remember the afternoons of learning to place my hand on the lace of the pigskin and throw a smooth one out to dad for a pass. My terminology may not be perfect there. I am not a football fanatic, but throwing to my dad was sweet pleasure!
In college, we had wing sports. Each college gal and guy had a place to live on campus. There were a few that commuted, but most of the single student body lived on campus. The girls in their dorms and the boys in theirs - no co-eds at my Alma Matter. I went to ORU, and a great place it was! We became very close to our wing-mates and brother wingers. As the season passed, we went on outreaches, cookouts, chaperoned camp outs, and participated in wing sports. The guys played while the gals cheered, and the favor was returned for us. I bowed out my freshman year, transferring in the middle of the year and remembering that I was a ballerina and usually not considered athletic otherwise. It was so much fun to cheer on the girls on my wing - they were quite competitive, and I admired that. Aside from mostly warming the bench in basketball those first two years, I was mostly found in the bleachers. It was not until my Junior year, that the girls roped me into playing with them. I was the Chaplain on my wing that year, and my great group of very athletic girls twisted my arm. They needed a quarterback, and after finding out I could throw a football, my duty was assigned.
However, I had never actually PLAYED football before. Oh, I had begged the boys in upper elementary to let me join them, but I was a ballerina girl remember and forced only to watch. My best girlfriend was allowed to play, but she was not going to ballet lessons three days a week after school. There is apparently a difference in a girl who can play and a girl who can throw. This I found out in college. The difference is courage!
Although my football arm is usually a beauty, terror apparently greatly affects it. I still remember my brother wing shaking their heads in utter disgust after one game in particular. They just could not understand why I had to fall to pieces in the midst of the pressure.
I know it was only flag football, but those girls looked mean and I was their target. They meant to intimidate and they did. Finally we scratched all previous discussed plays and the running back would just plan on me handing off to her. She could fly like the wind, so we scored quite a few that way. The competition learned to expect the same play over and over. These girls with brothers at home were playing for no mercy and did not come to lose. I so wanted to be full of courage and throw with precision in the midst of the stress, but it was rare that particular game. Intimidation brought about defeat. What I loved to do became not much fun because I found myself failing and letting down those on my team. It was more than a game for me. I knew that then, but did not realize why until recently.
I suppose I began daydreaming about that game on this particular day, because it is time to take courage. So what that my lack of courage helped us lose that game. I am probably the only one that still remembers it. We were not playing for money!
No matter what we are facing, no matter how many times we have let the enemy grab our flags, it is time to beat our chest like apes and know who we are! I am learning who I am. I am not created to tuck my tale and whimper away just because things get tough. I am meant to stand my ground, eyeball the enemy and realize he is bluffing, put my arm back and toss the ball to THE FATHER. He is waiting to catch it!
" The wicked die and disappear, but the family of the godly stands firm." Proverbs 12:7 NLT
"Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all." Psalm 34:19 NKJV
As I lay down on the couch to participate in the game this afternoon, I closed my eyes for just a moment. I almost let the cheers and whistles lull me to sleep and then I began daydreaming. I was remembering a day I played quarterback.
Since I had kinda been the boy of the family, my dad taught me to throw a football, among many other things usually reserved for boys. You see, I had been named John in the womb. My heartbeat, the doctor said, had to be male. Surprise! I was a girl...later a ballerina, in fact. But I loved the moments with my dad. He taught me to corral cows, maneuver a truck, drive a golf ball, and throw a football... all before I was ten. I still prefer to work outdoors over housework any day. I would much prefer to trim the bushes than vacuum the house. And I still remember the afternoons of learning to place my hand on the lace of the pigskin and throw a smooth one out to dad for a pass. My terminology may not be perfect there. I am not a football fanatic, but throwing to my dad was sweet pleasure!
In college, we had wing sports. Each college gal and guy had a place to live on campus. There were a few that commuted, but most of the single student body lived on campus. The girls in their dorms and the boys in theirs - no co-eds at my Alma Matter. I went to ORU, and a great place it was! We became very close to our wing-mates and brother wingers. As the season passed, we went on outreaches, cookouts, chaperoned camp outs, and participated in wing sports. The guys played while the gals cheered, and the favor was returned for us. I bowed out my freshman year, transferring in the middle of the year and remembering that I was a ballerina and usually not considered athletic otherwise. It was so much fun to cheer on the girls on my wing - they were quite competitive, and I admired that. Aside from mostly warming the bench in basketball those first two years, I was mostly found in the bleachers. It was not until my Junior year, that the girls roped me into playing with them. I was the Chaplain on my wing that year, and my great group of very athletic girls twisted my arm. They needed a quarterback, and after finding out I could throw a football, my duty was assigned.
However, I had never actually PLAYED football before. Oh, I had begged the boys in upper elementary to let me join them, but I was a ballerina girl remember and forced only to watch. My best girlfriend was allowed to play, but she was not going to ballet lessons three days a week after school. There is apparently a difference in a girl who can play and a girl who can throw. This I found out in college. The difference is courage!
Although my football arm is usually a beauty, terror apparently greatly affects it. I still remember my brother wing shaking their heads in utter disgust after one game in particular. They just could not understand why I had to fall to pieces in the midst of the pressure.
I know it was only flag football, but those girls looked mean and I was their target. They meant to intimidate and they did. Finally we scratched all previous discussed plays and the running back would just plan on me handing off to her. She could fly like the wind, so we scored quite a few that way. The competition learned to expect the same play over and over. These girls with brothers at home were playing for no mercy and did not come to lose. I so wanted to be full of courage and throw with precision in the midst of the stress, but it was rare that particular game. Intimidation brought about defeat. What I loved to do became not much fun because I found myself failing and letting down those on my team. It was more than a game for me. I knew that then, but did not realize why until recently.
I suppose I began daydreaming about that game on this particular day, because it is time to take courage. So what that my lack of courage helped us lose that game. I am probably the only one that still remembers it. We were not playing for money!
No matter what we are facing, no matter how many times we have let the enemy grab our flags, it is time to beat our chest like apes and know who we are! I am learning who I am. I am not created to tuck my tale and whimper away just because things get tough. I am meant to stand my ground, eyeball the enemy and realize he is bluffing, put my arm back and toss the ball to THE FATHER. He is waiting to catch it!
" The wicked die and disappear, but the family of the godly stands firm." Proverbs 12:7 NLT
"Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all." Psalm 34:19 NKJV
Friday, October 14, 2011
Eat and Make Seed
As I was watching an interview today of a lady that had been pressured by her boyfriend to go through multiple abortions, my heart began to break. This lady found the love of God through it all, and I felt the Lord's heart ache. I was drawn to intercede on behalf of those who have gone through similar circumstances...or even those like me that had been told they had a dead womb.
Although I have never had a baby ripped from my womb, I felt as if I was sitting in their place and was overcome with emotion and then a renewed hope! The power of the Holy Spirit enveloped me and I felt as if I stood in their place and God was moving on their hearts and lives and even renewing wombs. I know God moved today and miracles happened Hearts were changed and even bodies made new.
I began thinking how this was a parallel to the hopes and dreams that God has placed within each one of us. Jeremiah 29:11-13, of which so many of us are familiar, says, "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me."
This was written as a prophetic word by Jeremiah and sent to the EXILES in Babylon. He told them in the verses previously to live and multiply. He commanded them to make homes, eat food, have babies and let their babies have babies. They were to nourish and make seed. He then promised them that after their season, they would return to Jerusalem. Wow, what a parallel we can take from that.
How many of us have been disgusted with our "Babylon"? It is easy to cross our arms and fret over a difficult place we find ourselves in, but I believe the Lord wants us to look up out of circumstance and LIVE! What nourishment the Word gives us to live, and in the living in the Word we prepare seed to spread. An inheritance is created for our children by the life we live. I want that for mine.
I was talking to my mom the other day about forging forward. I had previously fretted in years past about the "stuff" I had to face. The Lord showed me that each generation has the potential to forge forward, to press toward a fertile place. I was able to look back and see the weeds my grandmother had trudged through and then see my mother with the sickle cutting them down. Even though I was upset at my patch of weeds I was standing in, I was able to see the sweet meadow out before me.
We are all on a journey. Some of us are with child. Are we going to abort what God has given us or are we willing to carry these babies and push when it is time? If we have aborted a dream or vision God has given us, He is able to renew our womb. It is time to eat! It is time to make seed!
Although I have never had a baby ripped from my womb, I felt as if I was sitting in their place and was overcome with emotion and then a renewed hope! The power of the Holy Spirit enveloped me and I felt as if I stood in their place and God was moving on their hearts and lives and even renewing wombs. I know God moved today and miracles happened Hearts were changed and even bodies made new.
I began thinking how this was a parallel to the hopes and dreams that God has placed within each one of us. Jeremiah 29:11-13, of which so many of us are familiar, says, "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me."
This was written as a prophetic word by Jeremiah and sent to the EXILES in Babylon. He told them in the verses previously to live and multiply. He commanded them to make homes, eat food, have babies and let their babies have babies. They were to nourish and make seed. He then promised them that after their season, they would return to Jerusalem. Wow, what a parallel we can take from that.
How many of us have been disgusted with our "Babylon"? It is easy to cross our arms and fret over a difficult place we find ourselves in, but I believe the Lord wants us to look up out of circumstance and LIVE! What nourishment the Word gives us to live, and in the living in the Word we prepare seed to spread. An inheritance is created for our children by the life we live. I want that for mine.
I was talking to my mom the other day about forging forward. I had previously fretted in years past about the "stuff" I had to face. The Lord showed me that each generation has the potential to forge forward, to press toward a fertile place. I was able to look back and see the weeds my grandmother had trudged through and then see my mother with the sickle cutting them down. Even though I was upset at my patch of weeds I was standing in, I was able to see the sweet meadow out before me.
We are all on a journey. Some of us are with child. Are we going to abort what God has given us or are we willing to carry these babies and push when it is time? If we have aborted a dream or vision God has given us, He is able to renew our womb. It is time to eat! It is time to make seed!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Sun on the horizon
Many of us face clouds in our lives. Back in August, I began to be drawn to the skies and found encouragement there. Over and over, I have found myself looking into the sky, finding sweet peace. Within the cloudy sky, the sun finds a way to break through.
One dark morning, sunlight was yet a small window. As I stood and watched the morning open from behind the clouds, I was stirred to remember that He is always pouring His love out upon us - in buckets upon our head. He loves us always...but so very nice to remember when we need it the most. I was able to take courage to stand strong through the adversity I was facing, all the while delighting in His promises of the day. While I was looking into the sky, the following poetry bubbled up from my heart:
It is not often that we take time to just watch the movement of the clouds and wait for the sun to make its appearance. One of my daughters and I take great delight in the display that results. We smile at the timing of such a stunning show in the sky...usually when we need it the most. God is so good. To think, He even blows the clouds to filter His light into a spectacular display...as if heaven is reaching down.
One dark morning, sunlight was yet a small window. As I stood and watched the morning open from behind the clouds, I was stirred to remember that He is always pouring His love out upon us - in buckets upon our head. He loves us always...but so very nice to remember when we need it the most. I was able to take courage to stand strong through the adversity I was facing, all the while delighting in His promises of the day. While I was looking into the sky, the following poetry bubbled up from my heart:
Grays and Blues In Billows and Puffs
Hovering and Moving About
Silently and Sweetly
Sunlight
Opening a Window From Dark
Widening Still
As I Stop To Wonder
Of HIS love for Me
And HIS hand In Mine
In Days to Come
It is not often that we take time to just watch the movement of the clouds and wait for the sun to make its appearance. One of my daughters and I take great delight in the display that results. We smile at the timing of such a stunning show in the sky...usually when we need it the most. God is so good. To think, He even blows the clouds to filter His light into a spectacular display...as if heaven is reaching down.
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