I wanted to jump off the end of the pier...
I picked up a Kleenex box and gazed at the picture on the side. It was of a long wooden pier out over shimmering, blue water, with gorgeous mountains far in the distance. I had the sudden urge to run down the length of the pier and into the water. My senses longed to feel the joy of the bubbling water surround me. I wanted to swim and swim, reach the other side and run toward the mountains. Hesitancy and planning are the usual behaviors for me, so this impromptu longing was far from my practiced nature.
However, God is taking me to a new season. A season of moving forward, at a marathon pace, is what my heart has been conforming to desire. As I thought about this, I reflected on how He prepares us and plants desires within us for the place He wants to take us.
"As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness;
I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness. " (Psalm 17:15 NKJV)
As we draw unto Him, He pulls us to Him and His will. Our emotions become intertwined as one with His. We are moved with His feelings just as Christ was. We are His children...His heirs. He wants intimacy in conversation and relationship. He has so much for us.
Vacation plans: They start with an unrest - a pull to get away from our current location - the sense of a need for rest. Then we see a picture or hear of a certain place. A small glimpse of that destination begins to stir desire within us. We begin to search out available details. We look at maps and brochures, all the while our senses stir to be hands on to this new place, our pulse quickens at the thought of our upcoming departure. Our desire to experience this new place has grown.
We take our voyage and savor every moment. From the rise of the airplane into the sky to defy gravity, the color and texture of the clouds in the sky, to our feet first touching down in our new destination. We have begun our experience of our 'new' place.
All from a little tiny stirring or awakening...come forth vast and pleasurable experiences. We are never the same thereafter. Those experiences teach us things, help us to see the world in a different light. We see ourselves anew and afresh. Our senses that have been dulled are standing on end and at attention.
It makes me think of a recent trip to the beach. My husband needed to attend a conference around the same time as our fifteenth wedding anniversary, so he asked me if I would like to go with him and celebrate our anniversary there. Long story short, I experienced much of what I talked about earlier in the vacation description above. Most of us have been there. However, I was stunned to taste and see the unexpected while I was there.
There was a level of enjoyment that I had not expected to experience. I would close my eyes and taste the sea salt on my tongue. Wiggling my toes into the sand and feeling the waves repeatedly was over them became a cherished daily exercise, although I felt rather childlike. Each morning, I would run to the window in great anticipation to see what the sunrise held for me that day. I did not want to miss a one.
It became a time of self renewal. 'Stuff' that I had buried down inside my heart began to come to the surface. The secret place within me was open to allow purging and healing. Going home, I would truly be lighter. I was laying my burdens at the feet of Jesus.
And then there was the turtle walk. It was the night of my anniversary. As I was looking at the events planned for the area, I discovered there would be a turtle talk and walk almost at the same time as our anniversary dinner reservation. Just the semester before, I had taught a zoology course and learned an incredible amount about sea turtles. I so wanted to be both places. So, with the apathy of my husband, I ran down to the turtle talk...in my ornate dress and spiked, platform heels. At the end of the talk I explained to the guide about my dinner reservations, but told her that I so wanted to join the walk on the beach in search of the cuties. The leader of the talk told us where to meet them and when. She expected several nests to be hatching that night.
We had a wonderful dinner. The restaurant even treated us to desert for the special occasion. Then, we made our way down to the beach. We were walking in the dark, journeying to find life erupting from the banks of sand.
During all the months of planning prior, I did not foresee that moment in time. Who, but God, would have known that I would be walking along the beach at night in a crocheted dress and spike heels...on my search for baby turtles. We could have decided that the attire wasn't just right for a walk in the sand that evening, but adventure to grasp this new experience outweighed discomfort and possible humiliation. Although it was uncomfortable and uncertain at the time, I now smile thinking of this moment. It is forever etched in my mind and heart.
I could have decided it was too difficult to arrange childcare, pack, or move past my emotional baggage to go on this trip. Something, however, pulled me to move forward to this part of the journey. A block in time that seemed so simple became a monumental moment in my life. A life changing encounter with God and the self that I really am was the result.
"By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise." (Romans 5:1-2 MSG)
I am ready to run the length of the pier and jump in the water. It has taken me a long time to get here. But...I am ready. Where is God taking you? What has it taken for you to be in this place? Encourage others with a few comments.
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